Phineus Meets Moliere By John Dean


Phineus meets Moltaire


 

By John Dean

Phineus Magician for Hire,
Phineus meets Möltaire

Based on original characters created by Barry Linck

Background: Phineus is a magician; for hire. He and his wife Sarah hunt vampires and other paranormal nuisances. Comic book author, Barry Linck created and publishes these characters. The following script was for a collaborative effort between Barry and myself.

And so, Phineus meets Moltaire.

[View from above Phineus and Sarah’s bed.]

Sarah
“Phin … Phineus, wake-up!”

[View zooming in toward the top floor of a high-rise; Position A.]

Moltaire
(balloon from building window)
“Phineus … magician for hire. You will be my servant.”

[Inside Phineus and Sarah’s bedroom.]

Phineus
“Never!”

[View zooming toward high-rise; Position B.]
Moltaire
(balloon from building window)
“I’ve become a part of your soul now, my son.”

[Inside Phineus and Sarah’s bedroom. Sarah pats Phineus’s face.]
Sarah
“Come back to earth, Hon.”
[Phineus leaps to a stance on the bed.

– – Cell Break – – –

[View zooming toward high-rise, a silhouette of Moltaire is visible in one single lit window on the top Floor; Position C.]
Moltaire
“Using you to fulfill my spell will be as much a pleasure as a shame.”

[Inside Phineus and Sarah’s bedroom. Phineus falling to his knees, buries his head in the covers.]

Phineus
“Sarah, don’t believe it… Sarah.”

Sarah
“Phineus, you’d better tell me what these dreams are all about.”

Phineus
“Can’t.”

Sarah
“I mean it … you’re gonna piss me off.”

[View zooming toward high-rise; Position C+.]
Moltaire
“I must find my sacrificial being before the new moon to assure my passage into the next century.”

[Inside Phineus and Sarah’s bedroom. Phineus and Sarah are sitting on the edge of the bed. Sarah is coddling Phineus to her heart.]

Phineus
“Just know that no matter what we get into; I’ll always love you.”

[Sarah looking confused.]
Sarah
“Phin?”

The very next evening…

[Inside Phineus and Sarah’s living room. Phineus is sitting on the couch and Sarah is standing over him from behind.]
Sarah
“How many times you gonna watch Excalibur?”

Phineus
“Strange there isn’t much paranormal activity lately.”

[Sarah walking around to block Phineus’s view of the television.]
Sarah
“Don’t get bored on me. You make me nuts when you’re bored.”
[Sarah leaves the room.]

Phineus
“Seems things have gotten slow about as long as I’ve been having these dreams.”

Sarah
(balloon from doorway)

“Huh?”
Phineus
“Nothin’.”

[View of Sarah reclined against the headboard seductively inviting Phineus.]
Sarah
“Bedtime.”

Phineus remains on the couch; staring out the window into the night and begins to drift…

– -Cell Break/Page Break – –
[View from above; inside Phineus and Sarah’s bedroom. Phineus shakes Sarah as she sleeps]
Phineus
“Sarah, wake-up.”
[Phineus jumps onto the bed kneeling over Sarah.]

Sarah
“What are you doing. It’s a little late for that now.”

Phineus
“Just got a call.”

Sarah
“It’s 3 a.m.”

Phineus
“Yeah, we’re goin’ to work.”

Sarah
“I never heard the phone.”

Phineus
“We gotta go to the Express Building…
[Phineus sits on the edge of the bed.]
…penthouse!”

Sarah
“I swear; this better not be severe bordem, Phin.
[Sarah sits up and checks the caller I.D. next to the lamp.]
We did not get a call.”

Phineus
“I just hung up with a Professor Moltaire. He’s having a little vampire trouble and we can name our price.”

Sarah
“Fine. If there is no Professor Moltaire; I’m not inviting you to bed for a long time.”

[Inside Moltaire’s penthouse office. Phineus is about to knock when from behind the door a voice calls out.]
Moltaire
“Come in Phineus. I’m glad you brought Sarah, we’ll need her.”

[Phineus and Sarah enter.]
Phineus/Sarah
“Whoa.”
[The image of Moltaire is split.]
Phineus sees a mysterious being that grapples his intrigue. Sarah sees the most desirable man she’s ever known.

Moltaire
“Thank you Sarah; you are gorgeous also. Yes, Phineus; you could be like me. You have no idea what you could become.”

Phineus
“How may we serve you.”

Sarah
“I’ve got a few ideas.”

Moltaire
“I require a vampire for an experiment. You can bring me one. That’s all I ask. For that service you will be handsomely rewarded.
[Moltaire points toward the window.]
Now go.”

[Phineus and Sarah walk out the window and as they pass through, their next steps are into their bedroom.]

–Cell break– Page Break–
[Next morning Phineus and Sarah are getting into their car. Dialog progresses as they drive.]
Phineus
“How much do you suppose handsomely is; in U.S. currency?”

Sarah
“Seems a little off to me. Too easy maybe.”

Phineus
“No biggy, we just dig up a vampire. Deliver. Get paid. This is the stuff we’ve been dreamin’ about gettin.’

Sarah
“Let’s check out Professor Moltaire while we’re at it. The guy gives me the creeps.”

Phineus
“That’s not what I gathered last night. How’d we get home anyway?”

Phineus/Sarah
“You drove.
[They look at each other then look forward]
Now, that’s weird.”

[View of Moltaire’s hand holding a medallion. In a reflection in the coin he watches Phineus and Sarah walk up the stairs of the Hall Of Records.]

Moltaire
“You will not find anything to answer your questions; children.”
[Moltaire sits, slightly reclined, gazing out his window as he speaks.]

Moltaire
“For centuries, I’ve watched the world; as a pauper; a prince. I’ve not yet seen a man with the possibilities he has. None, other than myself, has shown the promise of immortality. My regret is that he cannot be trusted. There is good in him and I will destroy it and consume his powers. Phineus must die.”

Several hours after beginning the search, Phineus and Sarah head for the shipyard; empty-handed.
Phineus
“Nothin’. Not an inkling of who or what Professor Moltaire is.”

Sarah
“Let’s hope he’s got as much cash as he lets on.”

Phineus
“Well, the only way to find out is to do what the man says.”
[Phineus and Sarah get out of their car at a partly dismantled dock.]

Phineus/Sarah
“Vampires.”

Phineus
“You think sniffin’ ‘em out will be as easy as snuffin’ ‘em out. We never tried to take one along peaceful-like.”

[ Phineus and Sarah creep through the usual places; ducking under piping and kicking open doors.]

Sarah
“Might be hard to just ask a vampire out to dinner; given our reputation.”

Phineus
“Here we are;
[Phineus spins around to face Chantier.]
just the three of us.”

Chantier (Shon-tee-yay)
“You two do not look as I expected.”

Phineus/Sarah
“You know us?”

Chantier
“Of you, more so. I’ve allowed you to find me; because…”

Sarah
“Allowed?”

Chantier
“Pardon me. Because I need your help.”

Phineus
“Who found whom?”

Chantier
“You don’t think someone of my caliber would be caught dead in a place like this; do you.?”

Phineus
“Well…”
[Chantier begins leading Phineus and Sarah out to their car.]

Chantier
“You must start associating with a better class of undead. Where shall we talk?”
[Phineus and Sarah are getting into their car.]
Chantier
“Still driving? You need to learn to fly.”
[Chantier takes off.]

Sarah
“Where are …?”

Chantier
“Cafe Express.”

Phineus
“Maybe a vampire will invite us to dinner.”

Sarah
“As long as he’s buyin’”
[View from building tops; down at Phineus and Sarah’s car.]

Phineus and Sarah find themselves confused and apprehensive about the case thusfar. They can’t trust Professor Moltaire and they never believe a word from the mouth of a vampire. So why do both need their help? When they sit down with Chantier they’re ready for some answers.

[All three are seated at a table inside Cafe Express.]
Chantier
“My name is Chantier. I know Moltaire has sent you. I also know he’s in this building and intends to destroy the three of us.”

Sarah
“Then you know what he’s up to.”

Chantier
“Partly.”

Phineus
“How ‘bout fillin’ us in.”

Chantier
“Moltaire needs a vampire’s blood to complete a ceremony he’s been performing on the sixth moon, every one-hundredth year.”

Sarah
“Why you, why us?”

Chantier
“Me, because I’ve known about his ritual since the 13th century. You… I’m not sure. He’s never needed anyone’s assistance for anything.”

Phineus
“It’s my magic he’s after.”

Sarah
“What?”

Phineus
“The dreams.”
[Phineus leaves the cafe; entranced.]

Chantier
“Moltaire calls.”

Sarah
“This is gonna ruin a perfectly eventless week.”

[Inside Moltaire’s Ritual Chamber. Moltaire is dressed ‘Merlinesque’ and Phineus is levitating in the center of the room.]
Moltaire
“You’re only weekness, Phineus, is that you don’t know what it’s like to die; and now you will.”
[Moltaire picks up a sabre from a table filled with ancient weapons.]
“Tools… of warriors from the past. Ours… magic. Doesn’t it seem unsettling to sever the hands of goodness?”

[Moltaire circles Phineus as he talks. Phineus’s body rotates to keep facing Moltaire.]
Moltaire
“You’re speechless; I know. Nothing you would say could matter. Adieu, Phineus; and thanks for the vampire.”
[Moltaire draws the sabre back to strike.]
“Lox et, lo vai.”

[Moltaire slashes the sabre toward Phineus. Sarah and Chantier burst into the chamber and Sarah shoots Phineus in the shoulder. Phineus’s body is thrown against the wall. Chantier lunges onto Moltaire grabbing his hair and pulling his head to the side.]

Chantier
“Good night, sweet Sarah.”
[Chantier bites Moltaire on the neck.]

Sarah
“Phineus, kill Chantier; Now!”
[Phineus lifts his arm and “zaps” Chantier disintegrating his body. Moltaire raises his arms and screams with fury as his body turns to dust.]

Phineus/Sarah
“Whoa!”

Phineus
“What the hell happened?”

Sarah
“It’s your mess; you clean it up.”
[Sarah helps Phineus to his feet.]
“Sorry I had to shoot ya’.”

Phineus
“Well, as long as you had to. Hurts a lot though.

Sarah
“On the way to the hospital, I’ll tell ya’ about how the blood of a dying vampire can kill just about anything.”

Phineus
“Nifty.”

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